My wife hates hypothetical questions. Which is why I regularly pose them to her.
No matter what I ask, her answer almost always is, ‘‘That would never happen.’’ And it’s true. Jennifer Lawrence and Scarlett Johansson probably never will get into a fistfight. But, still, who ya got?
I recently asked her what tattoo she would get if she were forced to get one. She said no one could make her do that, so what’s the point?
‘‘What would you get?’’ she said.
‘‘A teardrop under my eye,’’ I said. ‘‘For all the hypothetical questions that have gone unanswered.’’
I have a hypothetical for Bears fans: If you had the choice, would you rather enjoy a week away from this trying season or get the last five games over with, the way you’d like to get a tooth extraction over with?
I’ll take the bye week that the Bears are enjoying this week. This team is so exhausting to watch and the storylines are so unchanging that a respite comes at just the right time. Will there be a pause in the raging debate about Justin Fields’ abilities and future? No. I’m convinced he’s responsible for the most content on social media, just ahead of the ‘‘Golden Bachelor.’’ So, Fields or USC’s Caleb Williams as the Bears’ quarterback in 2024? Who ya got, X users?
Count me out.
Here’s what I won’t miss this week: During the Bears-Vikings game Monday night, Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, speaking for broadcasters everywhere, went out of their way to say how important the rest of the season was for Fields. ABC cameras found Bears general manager Ryan Poles several times during the game, giving visual weight to the contention that Fields’ fate would be decided by how he played down the stretch.
Poles likely is leaving a bit of room for the possibility that Fields will turn into Patrick Mahomes in the last portion of the season or that Fields will disappear in a massive dust cloud of interceptions and fumbles. But it’s hard to believe that 33 starts by Fields over almost three seasons haven’t led Poles to certainty. That’s a nice way of saying, if he doesn’t know what Fields is by now, maybe he should consider a career shift.
This is why the bye couldn’t come at a better time. If we choose, we can get a rest from the ‘‘What Will Poles Do?’’ game for at least a week. Trust me, a week away from broadcast crews following the same storylines will add a year to your life. Game after game, they talk about all the potential Fields has. It’s like being force-fed the same feel-good movie.
I’ve spent much of the season trying to understand the fascination with Fields. I’ve been trying to understand why his fans are so ardent in their support of him. Any criticism of him is considered an affront. Any discussion of the Bears’ possibly moving on from him is a declaration of war.
A few things seem to be at work: The networks are in the business of selling a product. The Bears aren’t good, but there’s intrigue surrounding Fields. So they sell him. Actually, they oversell him. Getting hit over the head with it got old by Week 3. It’s an insult even to those of us with trace amounts of intelligence.
The enchantment with Fields didn’t come out of nowhere, of course. He was so exciting as a runner last season that you dared not look away, lest you miss him making defenders look stupid. He was The Show, and the proof was in the four prime-time games the lowly Bears were featured in this season. (He missed two of them with a thumb injury. Undaunted, the networks redirected their obsession to Tyson Bagent’s humble football pedigree and his arm-wrestling dad.)
But ‘‘great running quarterback’’ and ‘‘great quarterback’’ are two different things. I can make this argument until I’m blue-and-orange in the face, and Fields fanatics will tell me that his offensive line, not his on-field judgment, is the problem.
His fans have become entrenched. His skeptics have become entrenched. You want to be right. I want to be right.
It’s exhausting, isn’t it?
I can’t wait until the end of the season, but I’ll enjoy the week off from watching the Bears. The defense did indeed look good in the victory against the Vikings, but the offense made me question the meaning of life. Fields’ admirers will choose to focus on his 36-yard completion to a wide-open DJ Moore to help set up Cairo Santos’ game-winning field goal.
You know what I say to that?
Whatever.
Let’s spend the week pondering bigger questions than whether Fields is the guy or not.
If you had been abducted by aliens and forced to sing Broadway show tunes, would you tell anyone? And don’t tell me it couldn’t happen.
