I was once one of those people who envied couples who lived together, appreciated each other’s company and split the bill for everything.
“Wow, imagine the money I’d save if I was in love,” I thought.
When I moved to Chicago, I had roommates, and we each paid a share of the rent, but it was different. We were random individuals who just happened to have the same address. We weren’t going out to restaurants or shopping on Saturdays.
Then, I invested in a one-bedroom apartment and loved the privacy. Two years later, I upgraded to a spacious, two-bedroom apartment all to myself. It was a major accomplishment but short-lived when a long-distance relationship decided to move in.
It was my little brother.
We are 10 years apart but have grown to be best friends from afar since we didn’t get much time to live together under my parents’ roof. With him moving in, I’d lose my cute home office but — just imagining the possible financial gains — I didn’t mind the sacrifice.
I was ready to see a savings account with a beating heart, order nice cocktails without checking my bank balance and maybe dust off my passport and explore Europe in 2024.
Y’all, I was such a clown.
The illusion of more money in my pocket quickly faded. First because of the unavoidable expenses and utility bills that double when the apartment goes from one tenant to two. (Yes, duh.) Then by treating myself to those seemingly harmless “buy now, pay later” purchases that eat up your paycheck.
‘When you make more money, you spend more money’
As I grew up and slowly climbed out of poverty, my mom was happy but worried I would trap myself in debt as I explored and tested my financial freedom. Now that I’m in my 30s, her advice — rather, financial warnings — ring more clearly.
In my current situation (a few extra bucks in budget, brother moving in, etc.), reality was the first thing that started to dwindle my spending power.
The $70 internet data plan, for example, was enough for one person. But less than a week after my online-video-game-loving brother moved in, we upgraded to the unlimited $110 plan after multiple data-limit warnings.
We had to spend more here, Mom. But here is where you were annoyingly right.
By moving in, my brother was also saving money. So I showed him my favorite restaurants, he fell in love exploring Chinatown, and we had fun buying new shoes and wearing them immediately down Michigan Avenue.
While treating myself to things I couldn’t afford before, I overestimated my financial liberties and my spending on entertainment nearly tripled. My splurge didn’t even leave me with enough money to renew my passport for my European vacation fantasy.
Learn from others, fill in the blanks
So, yes, learn from your parents or a person you aspire to be like. Their advice might not fully fit our circumstances, so it’s up to us to fill in the blanks by learning from every personal mistake and success. It might start with being honest about what kind of lifestyle we can afford and planning what we have to sacrifice or work toward to get to the next level.
My brother and I had a serious talk about how to balance our “Material Girl” lifestyles and keep each other accountable — my last shoe purchase was Oct. 14.
And, yes, I was wrong about dual-income households having it easier. But it’s still nice to have someone to split a pizza with.
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